How to Ask Someone Out – Persistence is Not Key

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19 Responses

  1. Jo says:

    This is something I had to learn the hard way and I’m glad knowing that a lot of other women out here are also saying no and chesting it.

  2. Kiki Adigo says:

    Preach sisi!👏👏
    “No” is not and will never be equal to “try harder/ be more agressive”.

  3. Grays says:

    “No dear” … Take pride in saying “NO” to a total stupid-ass. Nice one Ohotu❤

  4. Queen Abutu says:

    “Say NO with your chest!” Once again, you have delivered the message as is. Well done girl!!!

  5. Victor Afolayan says:

    Great read.
    For this cause, many have missed their dream men who never returned after the ‘NO’ they gave simply because they believed in the human philosophy of ‘If he is serious, he’ll come the second time’.
    In the end, I greatly advise men to find peace with God first, contentment in him before making the proposal. If she says No, they would easily continue life and make a sound decision whether or not there is a return leg.
    Grace-based operation has to be the bedrock.

    • CA says:

      Thank you for your response, Victor. We hope that people keep making informed decisions and that both men and women learn to respect the decisions of others.

  6. PaGidi Expressions says:

    I’m glad reading this. I’m gradually learning to accept NO and taking many steps back.

    Before, it was my inability to ask a girl out
    that was my problem. Because of the fear of being rejected. Right now, it’s my fear of being single after she has initially said YES that’s my problem.

    But, yes, persistence isn’t the key. Backing off isn’t the key either. I just have to learn how not to continue dragging a locked padlock.

    Until the next life happens, there will always be someone else.

    • CA says:

      Thank you. We all need to learn to face rejection squarely in the face and to accept it when it comes. And we must also learn not to leat the fear of rejection hold us back.

  7. Pius Oladoyin says:

    As much as I agree with almost everything you wrote I disagree with the fact that “majority” of women, especially Nigerian women, have unlearned these things. It’s a lie. Some of the biggest proponents of patriarchy and this predatory norms are women. Only a minority are right in the head, others are just still going with the flow.
    This means we must do more by educating both gender on how it should be, we must educate more.

    • CA says:

      It’s not a lie; a lot of women are ‘right in the head’ and are doing a lot to educate people on freeing themselves from limiting gender norms. Notwithstanding, you’re right that we all must do all we can to spread the word about gender equality.

  8. Miracle Okoro says:

    The things we have to unlearn, mehn

  9. Adannaya says:

    I enjoyed reading this piece

  10. Dr. SylArt says:

    This is beautifully written

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